You will not be free until you choose to see…

Following every thought, every feeling…

If you sit on the bank of a river after a storm, you see the stream going by, carrying a great deal of debris. Similarly, you have to watch the movement of yourself, following every thought, every feeling, every intention, every motive, just watch it.

That watching is also listening; it is being aware with your eyes, with your ears, with your insight, of all the values that human beings have created, and by which you are conditioned, and it is only this state of total awareness that will end all seeking.

J. Krishnamurti

The Collected Works, Vol. XV,242,Choiceless Awareness

Thinking about thinking and the resolve to think it through…

The thought thunk its self.

You thought the thought.

The thought came and you cultivated the thinking around it.

The thought flowed in and out.

A thought came.


Not all thinking is the same kind of thinking and not all thoughts are of the same thought stuff.

Thoughts are thoughts, they’re not.

A thought is its own thought, separate from the others.


Floating In The Grays of Freedom

Most people desire freedom, freedom from the judgement of their peers, even peers who love them, and freedom from their own judgement.

But rarely do they have someone who can create a space to explore and acknowledge that desire, and if they don’t have the opportunity to meet someone or experience a conversation that creates that opportunity they will keep flowing along as they always have, until they don’t.

It’s like the sensation of losing yourself to the environment you are in, or like becoming for a moment, like those you are near in proximity even though you aren’t so similar in their ways, like floating in the grays; kind of like staying in a relationship with someone even when you know you shouldn’t, even when you know you don’t want to, but can’t quite figure out why.

Most of us stay in relationships with our prejudice for too long, even when we wish we wouldn’t.

But when someone speaks a truth to us, a truth that we already glimmer as so, that person naturally becomes an ally to our own seeking.

When we stop making ourselves wrong for our idiocy of thought, and allow for the ideas to exist as a momentary passing, seeing that we are not our thinking rather we are our being, we free something within ourselves that lets go of the separateness, which allows for an embrace of it all, all of life.

Most people are isolated and alone and terrified of being humiliated, myself included.

They have friends, families, and this and that, but they’re disconnected from themselves and to do anything that might ostracize them from the thin threads of what little they have, is frightening.

So we all grasp.

It’s comforting to know there are others who are free falling into the truth and that dose of camaraderie can be potent.

When I said I’ve had fabulous results, I mean I’ve had fabulous results with failures as successes and successes that are failures and vice versa.

It’s been fabulous because I know my own experience of being compassionate and simultaneously vitriolic, even when I didn’t want to be.

The results are not mine to be attached too.

And I’m not controlling for other’s experiences.

And that frees me to be inappropriate and disliked or loved.

And that frees them to be free to look for themselves.

And that transforms people.

I have so many stories. I could go on for pages to explore the nuances.

If there is a specific question beyond this let me know.


Being your own guru and flirting with reality.

You can press and pull on reality.

You can dance with the universe; you can converse with the universe.

You can ask questions about everything and anything you want. And you will get an answer, of one kind or another.

You may take chances and step into the excitement of flowing with the unknown, to watch what shows up for you.

It’s experience after experience of wonder that will is showing you to yourself, as if the universe is a playground of self expression.

It feels as if it wants you to experience for of the experience of life itself.

There is no right or wrong. There is no judgement. There is play and reception, a willingness to receive what comes into  your life, the openness to the new.

Every moments is completely fresh, with the only constraint being that you may be constricting it with your conception of what you believe it to be.

But you are the guru, the seer of all. You are at the state of receptivity, capable of flowing with perfect presence as you speak as the universe and to the universe.

You are it, the perfect wonder in love with itself.

The perfect embrace, a hug of the divine, the kiss of the cosmic waits for you.

With love, E.D.T.

It doesn’t happen online, but you certainly can hide there.

No one knows what your potential is, but the twist is that neither do you.


Your dreams, the dreams that hang about, that slip into your mind before you fall asleep at night, the visions that you can feel within you, are pointers toward your potential.

And here’s where things get wild.

Once you demand that your dreams follow your decision to make them so, the majestic unknown becomes your domain.

You will not get what you want from the internet.

Transformation comes through conversation, through experience, through being the very thing you want.

In fact information in many ways becomes the shackle of our spirit, the anchor to which we willingly chain ourselves to, and then turn around and pretend as if it’s not so.

The magic is in your words. The conversations and your willingness to live into your truth.

It doesn’t happen online, but you certainly can hide there.

Explorations As The Field Of Being

“The field of the finite is all that we can
see, hear, touch, remember, and
describe. This field is basically that which
is manifest, or tangible.

The essential quality of the infinite, by
contrast, is its subtlety, its intangibility.

This quality is conveyed in the word ‘spirit’,
whose root meaning is ‘wind or breath.’
This suggests an invisible but pervasive
energy, to which the manifest world of
the finite responds.

This energy, or spirit, infuses all living
things, and without it any organism must
fall apart into its constituent elements.
That which is truly alive in living systems is
this energy of spirit, and this is never born
and never dies.”
-David Bohm